My latest literary project is reading Alice in Wonderland in Spanish. I had been disappointed by the fact that most of the recent Latin novels I had been reading centered around “putas”, so I decided that something more uplifting was required. Little did I know that the Cheshire Cat and modern technology live in similar fantasy worlds.
After losing my files in a mysterious incident involving my 13 year old son and an aging computer that I was using as a file server, I decided to search for a really kid proof solution. After restoring my data from DVDs to a modern, but cheap $100 NAS appliance I began looking for an automatic online backup solution.
I quickly realized that no one offers consumer backup products allow NAS backups, so I found myself having to sync data between my NAS and a sub-directory on my laptop, using Microsoft’s SyncToy as Plan A. Though SyncToy not automatic, it is free, quick, easy and requires no plastic disks. That was good enough for me.
Plan B involved searching for software that would backup this sub-directory to the cloud. I did some research and chose mozy.com as it offered free backups up to 2GB of storage for free and unlimited storage for $4.95 per month. I decided to test it one evening after work. The software downloaded and installed easily, but then as night fell, this demonic code turned into Dracula and began to suck the life out of my laptop. Whenever I opened up the client from the task bar, or started browsing through its big menu buttons Windows would freeze while oddly maintaining low CPU and memory utilization. Mozy paralyzed all my other applications while it chugged along looking for fresh blood to add to its archives. Like a true vampire, it had a single mission in life, not listening to reason. When I told it not to backup the system files suggested in its default settings it would fiendishly reselect them. It took 4 days to back up 5GB. After the backup completed I went looking through the client’s menu options to see if there were any interesting features and it would have to pause an think after each click, not a second or two, sometimes up to a minute or more, especially if you were selecting files to add to the backup set. Then the laptop froze completely, and I left it for half a day to haunt windows while it stalked potential prey. I eventually had to pull the plug and then had to live through a blue screen of death and an automatic registry fix before it would boot up properly.
Disappointed, I tried the Quicken online backup service as I use their personal finance product. The website portal was very spartan, only having two links on the main menu, a button for credit card information and another to upgrade your service. This was a warning I should have paid more attention to as you will see later. The software was nice and fast for my initial test run using the basic 100MB service at $9.99 per year, but then I decided to increase my backup to the $149.99 for 10GB option. First, after paying, the client didn’t register the updated service status and the website’s limited options would only allow me to upgrade to a level at which I should have been already without telling me where I was. I then noticed that the web portal URL was a sub domain of backup.com and I went to that site, logged in with my Quicken credentials and saw from their much better portal that I had the 10GB service. So I downloaded their client to see whether it would work and recognize the new 10GB option, it did and the client was spiffier. Then the problems began. Just selecting more than 1024 MB, or 1GB would make client crash. I uninstalled and the Quicken client would crash too.
So the following morning I call Backup.com, which is a subsidiary of Symantec, to tell them my plight. They responded promptly but told me I had to talk to Quicken Online Backup directly and gave me their number which I phoned. According to the robotic answering machine, Quicken’s operators were all busy and it would be best to use their website to get service. The robot then hung up without even saying “good bye”. I then used the website, I had to wait 10 minutes to online chat with a representative, but when the countdown timer reached 3 seconds, and stayed that way for about 2 minutes, I tried email which promised a 24 hour turnaround. I then tried the phone option, in which you had to give your number and they would call back in an hour. I did all this before going to work, so I received the surprisingly quick email response an hour later telling me that I would have to clear my browser cookies to get the client to work. I don’t understand why the fat client, not a web client would rely on a browser cookie, but Quicken’s accounting software would do some strange things like that, so it is not entirely surprising. I quickly realized I would have to wait till I got home to test at which point I start looking at what Symantec had to offer. For $45 a year I could backup 25GB! With that revelation fresh in mind I suddenly get the customer service phone call. They apologized for the delay, but told me that I had to be in front of my PC to fix the problem. Remember, the email response had given me a repair option and I had uploaded the same screen shot to the phone support web menu and now they couldn’t help me. I canceled the service.
Symantec’s Norton Online Backup installed easily, and it runs a little webserver behind the scenes that is only accessible from your laptop not the Internet. (For the techies, it runs on localhost 127.0.0.1) When you click on the client. it pops up a web browser page that references data on your little webserver and from the Symantec too. This was problematic for me too. I click on the client icon in the task bar and when Internet Explorer loads the client complains that I have to have IE6 or higher, and I am running IE8. Then Firefox, running the noscript plugin, recognizes that my computer shouldn’t be running a webserver, even if it is not accessible from the web and gets a coronary, but fortunately allows me the option to ignore the craziness for this particular scenario.
After all this, the backup is working well. The first backup of 5GB took about 30 hours and the incremental updates since then have been speedy.
Alice found things becoming curiouser and curiouser, and so did I.

